Mud Maiden Pillows

Glastonbury. After.

'Maybe he has some sort of mystic attachment to the soil.'

"I know it is of this earth...."

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

"Is it something I said dear?"

Cook and her Maids

'I love you...but you don't half stink!'

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

'The country is awfully deep, but the falling is delightfully soft and safe'

'Get right back out there, young man, and track some mud in!'

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

'It says here that erosion moves soil from one place to another. I thought that was our job.'

"I can skip my bath. On the way home I jumped in all the puddles."

'I love rock festivals!'

In the art gallery

'Do something, Alan...he's been playing in the mud again!'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

Saying Grace.

'Hey! Make sure those boots are muddy before you set foot in here,mister! Took me all morning to get this place filthy!'

The Inn Keeper's Wife and Daughter taking care of the Don after being beaten and bruised.

"A conundrum, rather than an outright mess, I think, Mrs Ellis..."

"Look at the state of this place! Don't you ever use that thing to sweep up?!"

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

Mouse Sidewalk Cafe

A declaration - man tells a girl that she has stolen his heart.

"Welcome to the United States."

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

Culinary Culture.

Cook asking for her vinaigrette after recieving an offer from the dustman

"When I'm with you, Ted, I feel dirty."