Iron Will Admirer Pillows

Golda Meir.

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

High security Santa's grotto

Elfie Stick

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"Just don’t tell the other vultures. I’ll never hear the end of it."

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

Ironing day.

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'

'Don't worry it's organic...'

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

Met Office: Wet today and dry tomorrow.

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

"Beats me. They put up the sign and went to their panic room."

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

'The company I ran was non-profit, but that wasn't intentional.'

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

'I'm Bored'

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

Moses' TV guide.