Ironworker Admirer Pillows

"Driving in New York city scares the hell out of me."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"Just don’t tell the other vultures. I’ll never hear the end of it."

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

Ironing day.

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

"Voila!...smooth pastry." (Lady teaching chef to iron dough).

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'Don't worry it's organic...'

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

'Ugh, we've got termites, destructive little pests.'

Met Office: Wet today and dry tomorrow.

"Beats me. They put up the sign and went to their panic room."

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

"Hello?"

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

'The company I ran was non-profit, but that wasn't intentional.'

'I'm Bored'

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale