Interviewee Antics Pillows

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

"Seriously?"

"We pay the living dead wage."

"Ideally, we're looking for someone who can handle change."

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

'When I said I was going to resign my contract, I meant re-sign my contract for another five years!'

The job interview was more thorough than roger had anticipated.

"Have you ever used a plastic straw?"

'I worked briefly in a Fine-China shop, but it didn't work out...'

"Have you any OTHER questions apart from home soon you qualify to take sick leave?"

"We don't think you're management material."

'But you got a second interview, that's something.'

Other than the water cooler and the soda machine, can you operate other office equipment?

'Well, thanks for coming in. We'll get back to you.' The search for Big Foot continues.

"Well, time to do what we came here to do...our homework."

"Everyone in personnel had a good laugh at what you put down as your suggested starting salary."

'Candor is a plus.'

And you say that's your most noteworthy qualification?

"I'll be frank - we offered it to Mario Cuomo first, but he turned it down."

"No. I blew the interview when I sniffed the interviewer's behind."

"Yes, we need someone to test a run of facial tissue. What makes you qualified?"

'What else can you do?'

Don't ring us and we won't ring you.

Knowing that her doctorate in bio-physics made her profoundly overqualified for the job, Susan played dumb during the interview.

"I see you're of good character."

"Yes, that was very impressive, Mr. Simpkins. But, when we advertised for a keyboard operator... "

'I have all my teeth.'

'The fact that I've been married six times proves I'm convincing.'

Although he had interviewed lots of applicants who were nail-biters, this guy was by far the most annoying.

'Since you worked at 'Starbucks', you should be able to brew a decent cup of coffee, you're hired!'

'...Boom-boom-bam, BOOM-boom, boomity-bim-bam, BOOM, bam-bam, BAM, boom-boom....'