Quirky Interviewee Enthusiast Pillows

'I have all my teeth.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

Nun Fight.

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

Do you have any other skills?

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

Football Crazy strip six

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

"That's nice, but do you have any references other than your Mom?"

Help wanted. Various positions available.

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"I see you have a lot of experience in re-tail. . ."

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

'He will observe your text now...'

"Again, you may exercise your right to remain silent, but it's going to work against you since this is a job interview."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

'How many words per minute do you type?'