Interstellar Buddy Gifts

'It's nothing personal, Donald; I just need more space.'

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Marry me astronaut

How Glaciations Begin

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

'Look at him out there... so cold, so distant. Why do I always fall for the bad boys?'

"You'd think they never heard of 'catch and release' before."

"Gee, I just wish I had the words to describe this scene to you fellows back on earth...!"

"I suggest you read this book....it comes highly recommended by earthlings."

Double bass in space

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

'Can you spare a moment for the Universe, sir?'

"They discovered an Earthlike planet, and it's close." "Earthlike?" "Does it have oceans and beaches and sensual ladies who like to gaze at sunsets?" "It may have liquid water. And it's orbiting a red dwarf, so it'll always look like sunset." "But is there anyone there to whisper sweet nothings to?" "I know a guy at NASA. If they send a probe, maybe he could add your dating profile."

"Y'all look like dog people to me."

"B*****d!"

Bassoon musical instrument.

Planeterrium.

'I was chatting with Krog when, out of the blue, that thing fell on him.'

'Found another earth-like planet. But just like the others, it doesn't allow pets.'

"Yeah, it works, but you still shouldn't have forgotten the flag!"

"What do you use to relieve the burning and itching of asteroids?"

'When the aliens abducted and probed me, they said I was fine. But I'd like a second opinion.'

"But I'm feb up looking sinister all the time"

"You're part of the NASA Space Program! Really? I've heard that lame pick-up line sooo many times..."

Bear in a space suit meeting an alien.

'Sir, you're not going to believe this but the vatican is preparing to move into our territory.'

Moon Prank

"You'll have to excuse him. He's a gassy planet."

'They're plowing you? -- how does it feel?', 'Groovy!'

Interplanetary Family Intervention

'They're more advanced than I thought. It only took him five seconds to refold that map.'

NASA, 'Now, don't panic, but I think we got a parking ticket.'

God uses the universe as a reading light.

Susie...are we even on the right planet?