Interstellar Buddy T-Shirts

'It's nothing personal, Donald; I just need more space.'

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

Marry me astronaut

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

How Glaciations Begin

'Look at him out there... so cold, so distant. Why do I always fall for the bad boys?'

"You'd think they never heard of 'catch and release' before."

"I suggest you read this book....it comes highly recommended by earthlings."

Double bass in space

"Gee, I just wish I had the words to describe this scene to you fellows back on earth...!"

"They discovered an Earthlike planet, and it's close." "Earthlike?" "Does it have oceans and beaches and sensual ladies who like to gaze at sunsets?" "It may have liquid water. And it's orbiting a red dwarf, so it'll always look like sunset." "But is there anyone there to whisper sweet nothings to?" "I know a guy at NASA. If they send a probe, maybe he could add your dating profile."

'Can you spare a moment for the Universe, sir?'

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

"Y'all look like dog people to me."

'Found another earth-like planet. But just like the others, it doesn't allow pets.'

Bassoon musical instrument.

Planeterrium.

"B*****d!"

'I was chatting with Krog when, out of the blue, that thing fell on him.'

"Yeah, it works, but you still shouldn't have forgotten the flag!"

"But I'm feb up looking sinister all the time"

'When the aliens abducted and probed me, they said I was fine. But I'd like a second opinion.'

"What do you use to relieve the burning and itching of asteroids?"

"You're part of the NASA Space Program! Really? I've heard that lame pick-up line sooo many times..."

Bear in a space suit meeting an alien.

'Sir, you're not going to believe this but the vatican is preparing to move into our territory.'

'They're plowing you? -- how does it feel?', 'Groovy!'

Moon Prank

"You'll have to excuse him. He's a gassy planet."

Interplanetary Family Intervention

'They're more advanced than I thought. It only took him five seconds to refold that map.'

NASA, 'Now, don't panic, but I think we got a parking ticket.'

God uses the universe as a reading light.

Susie...are we even on the right planet?