Internet Love Explorer Gifts

I met him online.

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

Online Dating

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

'Trust me, she can't fail to notice you now...'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

"We're staying together for the sake of our facebook page..."

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

"Arthur, I need my space."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

Heart to heart talk.

A sentimental woman talking to her lover on a ship

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

Waterfall of Disappointment

Strangers. Friends. Lovers. Spouses.

Worm Bed

Counseling $10. This end up. I think we're making progress. I want to kill you both.

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."