Internet Relationship Explorers Gifts

"After all these years we're starting to look alike, so we don't want to spoil it by actually meeting face to face."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

Online Dating

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'Trust me, she can't fail to notice you now...'

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

His and Hers Wedding

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

"Arthur, I need my space."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Heart to heart talk.

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

Waterfall of Disappointment

Worm Bed

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."