Interior Decor Humorist Gifts

Dog wallpapers cat.

"Faux wood grain towel dispensers, matching toilet plunbers, herb scented urinal cakes, where's it all end, Stan?"

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

Still Life With Nordic Track

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

Duvet nailed to the floor.

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Psychiatrist with bartending diploma

Dog Bookends

"Buying the largest TV on the market was a good idea. Mounting it was not."

Shaker furniture: The flamboyant years.

A slow-moving predator, the couch only needs to eat every few years.

'When we converted the pub into a house, we decided to keep some of the original features.'

"The carpet really brings the room together."

"Reproduction furniture."

"What do you think?"

Goldfish in Bowl, "And this is the sitting room and the bedroom and the toilet and...."

"We'll take it."

"Look, you always hated the wicker furniture and bamboo is scarce, so consider it a win-win."

Budget Recliner

I LOVE what you've done with the place!

'The principal says her door is always open, until it slams shut when you're in there!'

'Maybe he said store the wine horizontally...'

Man escaping prisoner via feng shui

"Her name is 'Precious', but her nickname is 'why we can't have nice things.'"

"Do you know what DFS stands for? Designed for Scratching."

'It also makes a great hat rack.'

"There's slipping in the bath then there's slipping in the bath."

'I think the flat screen TV goes well next to my flat headed husband.'

'Hey, I love the moat.'

Duck has human t-shirts on wall.

"You know they're just plastic, and I know they're just plastic, but take them down."

'I told you it wouldn't fit through the door!'