Home Decor Humorists Gifts

Medical and Window Treatments

"The hibiscus really ties the place together."

"Honey, they're decorative."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

Still Life With Nordic Track

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

Yard Sale

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

Duvet nailed to the floor.

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

How to Build a Bungalow

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

'I put lint tape all over his onesie so that, as he crawls around, he picks up the dog hair.'

Carpet Cows

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

"Buying the largest TV on the market was a good idea. Mounting it was not."

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

Dog Bookends

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

Do it yourself -- get someone else to do it -- get son to do it -- pay -- don't bother doing it -- move house

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

'You may be the CEO of a large corporation, but at home you're an OMW, observe my whims!'

Oh, one door closes, another opens -- How have you been?

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!

Oh, yeah, we love having a walk-out basement.