Home Decor Humorists Gifts

Medical and Window Treatments

"The hibiscus really ties the place together."

"Honey, they're decorative."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Yard Sale

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

Duvet nailed to the floor.

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

How to Build a Bungalow

"Buying the largest TV on the market was a good idea. Mounting it was not."

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

Carpet Cows

Dog Bookends

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

'We decided to rent out the back room until the baby comes.'

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!

'You may be the CEO of a large corporation, but at home you're an OMW, observe my whims!'

"I thought it would be cheaper to weed wack our shag carpet rather than replace it."

Do it yourself -- get someone else to do it -- get son to do it -- pay -- don't bother doing it -- move house