Home Decor Humor Gifts

"Her name is 'Precious', but her nickname is 'why we can't have nice things.'"

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

Still Life With Nordic Track

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

How to Build a Bungalow

Dog Bookends

'I'm really thirsty.'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

'Yep. I used to use chemical to strip wallpaper, but the cats are more efficient, and there's no nasty smell.'

Wallpapering 4

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

Do it yourself -- get someone else to do it -- get son to do it -- pay -- don't bother doing it -- move house

'We decided to rent out the back room until the baby comes.'

Clown has hit wife with custard pie. Marriage guidance counsellor says: 'Does he end every argument like this?'

CartoonStock Upload

Oh, yeah, we love having a walk-out basement.

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

"So I said 'Would it kill you to do a little yardwork?'"

"The carpet really brings the room together."

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

'That must be the termite inspector.'

Ice Fishing

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

'I'll get into the garbage, Whiskers here will wreck the sofa, and you - you'll drive the getaway castle.'

"Maybe Dracula wasn't the best one to try this new detergent."

'That's not what I meant when I asked you to add a second bathroom, Roger.'

Goldfish in Bowl, "And this is the sitting room and the bedroom and the toilet and...."

"We'll take it."

"Look, you always hated the wicker furniture and bamboo is scarce, so consider it a win-win."

'I forgot to close the door?...Seriously? Who puts a door on a hole?'