Home Decor Humor T-Shirts

"Her name is 'Precious', but her nickname is 'why we can't have nice things.'"

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

How to Build a Bungalow

Dog Bookends

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

'I'm really thirsty.'

Wallpapering 4

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

Do it yourself -- get someone else to do it -- get son to do it -- pay -- don't bother doing it -- move house

Clown has hit wife with custard pie. Marriage guidance counsellor says: 'Does he end every argument like this?'

'We decided to rent out the back room until the baby comes.'

CartoonStock Upload

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

Ice Fishing

"The carpet really brings the room together."

'That's not what I meant when I asked you to add a second bathroom, Roger.'

'I'll get into the garbage, Whiskers here will wreck the sofa, and you - you'll drive the getaway castle.'

"So I said 'Would it kill you to do a little yardwork?'"

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

'That must be the termite inspector.'

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

"Maybe Dracula wasn't the best one to try this new detergent."

Goldfish in Bowl, "And this is the sitting room and the bedroom and the toilet and...."

"We'll take it."

"Look, you always hated the wicker furniture and bamboo is scarce, so consider it a win-win."

'I forgot to close the door?...Seriously? Who puts a door on a hole?'

'The developers of this flu vaccine can't explain it, but its only side effect is that it may cause your HVAC system to go hay wire for a bit.'