Furniture Humorists Gifts

"Look, you always hated the wicker furniture and bamboo is scarce, so consider it a win-win."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

Still Life With Nordic Track

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

Duvet nailed to the floor.

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

"Buying the largest TV on the market was a good idea. Mounting it was not."

Dog Bookends

"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"

Shaker furniture: The flamboyant years.

It looks like wood, but it's actually vinyl siding.

Oh, one door closes, another opens -- How have you been?

"Reproduction furniture."

"The carpet really brings the room together."

Fire Escapes

Valentines for Real Estate

Goldfish in Bowl, "And this is the sitting room and the bedroom and the toilet and...."

"We'll take it."

"Well, you did say that you were just looking for something to get you started on the property ladder."

Budget Recliner

When Pyromaniacs Buy A Home: 'This is a great starter home.'

Estate agents lined up for sale during house-price slump.

'Beats me why I took this place. No en-suite, no walk-in robe and no dining room!'

"I'll carry you over a regular threshold, darling, as soon as the housing market improves."

Landlord holding back a tennant from his money: 'It's all part of the service!'

'The principal says her door is always open, until it slams shut when you're in there!'

'...There's been a 20% rise in the length of time our house been on the market'

'I see this one is detached. Yes, the ones on either side fell down.'

'I think the flat screen TV goes well next to my flat headed husband.'

Man escaping prisoner via feng shui

Duck has human t-shirts on wall.

"Were you aware you'll need to sign over your wife & kids as collateral in order to secure this property?"