Interior Designer Humor Gifts

Good fences make good neighbors - unless you live in a high-rise.

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

Still Life With Nordic Track

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

Duvet nailed to the floor.

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Dog Bookends

"Buying the largest TV on the market was a good idea. Mounting it was not."

Shaker furniture: The flamboyant years.

A slow-moving predator, the couch only needs to eat every few years.

'Pssst. Go play in your new fun house or you'll hurt daddy's feelings.'

"Reproduction furniture."

'When we converted the pub into a house, we decided to keep some of the original features.'

"What do you think?"

"The carpet really brings the room together."

Goldfish in Bowl, "And this is the sitting room and the bedroom and the toilet and...."

"We'll take it."

Budget Recliner

After the party the Millers return to their underground lair.

I LOVE what you've done with the place!

'The principal says her door is always open, until it slams shut when you're in there!'

"Her name is 'Precious', but her nickname is 'why we can't have nice things.'"

"You know they're just plastic, and I know they're just plastic, but take them down."

"Faux wood grain towel dispensers, matching toilet plunbers, herb scented urinal cakes, where's it all end, Stan?"

"There's slipping in the bath then there's slipping in the bath."

'Hey, I love the moat.'

"Do you know what DFS stands for? Designed for Scratching."

'Maybe he said store the wine horizontally...'

Duck has human t-shirts on wall.

'It also makes a great hat rack.'

Man escaping prisoner via feng shui

'I think the flat screen TV goes well next to my flat headed husband.'

'I told you it wouldn't fit through the door!'