Insurance Policy Jester Gifts

'Do you have your insurance information on you?'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

Dog walking Human.

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

Dog fetching clown shoes.

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'He started it!'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

Sub Post Office/Sub-Justice

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'