Insurance Policies Gifts

"We've raised your rates because..."

'How much will you get if the building you're working on burns down tonight?... Five to ten years.'

Woman asking burglar for a receipt so she can claim the insurance

'I don't want a piece of the rock. I want money.'

"Thank God we're insured"

Insurance Co. Your right leg? Oh, dear, that's unfortunate.

"Robyn Dixon got remarried!!!"

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

'Wait. . . wouldn't the Golden Harp be covered under the giant's homeowner's insurance?'

'Our insurance company doesn't cover saucer theft if it's left unlocked, so lock it even through this seems like a safe neighborhood.'

'You should probably just ignore that. Your insurance doesn't even begin to cover it.'

Who shall live and who shall die?

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

"With this policy, at the age of 12, he receives 10 marrow bones a month."

"Relax. I'm just here to see if your life insurance is up to date."

"I told my wife this place didn't offer full medical benefits!"

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

Obama Healthcare.

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

Single Prayer Health Insurance