Insurance Policy Update Gifts

'Which is worse - no pre-existing condition coverage. . . or no health insurance?'

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

"What you have is very expensive to treat. Would you like me to diagnose you with something affordable?"

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

"With this policy, at the age of 12, he receives 10 marrow bones a month."

"No matter how badly you have sinned, you don't have to worry about losing your coverage!"

"Luckily, my insurance covers roadside assistance."

'Just as I thought...you can't collect on the life insurance by boring me to death.'

"I'm prepared to cover any out-of-pocket costs, Dr. Williter."

"No I'm afraid your health insurance doesn't cover this."

Misread medical policy.

"Why carry malpractice insurance if you don't malpractice once in a while?"

"Doctor Wilson believes in preventive financing, so regardless of your insurance, fill out this loan application form."

'His insurance company said it does not cover self-inflicted accidents.'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"Robyn Dixon got remarried!!!"

"Thank God we're insured"

Dr Obama

'I feel a lot better! I hacked into your computer and reduced my insurance co-pay.'

"Absolute bummer of a day. . . have you ever tried getting life insurance when you're supposed to be extinct?"

'Before we start, let me tell you why I have to overcharge you.'

"Before I can write your insurance policy, this place has to be made more accessible. I almost fell in your moat!"

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

'Our insurance company doesn't cover saucer theft if it's left unlocked, so lock it even through this seems like a safe neighborhood.'

'My Insurance won't pay for an MRI.'

'The operation turned out better than I expected. Your insurance paid for everything.'

"I told my wife this place didn't offer full medical benefits!"

Eyeglasses prescription.

Woman looking at "Get Well" cards which have been divided into two sections: "Insured" and "Uninsured".

'You look sick. Why don't you see your health insurance underwriter to see what he'll allow your doctor to prescribe?'

'Looks like your insurance does not cover pre-existing organs.'