Insurance Broker Gifts

'It's all here in teh fine print. You're not covered against huffing and puffing.'

'Let's see... Ah! Here it is: 'Your policy does not cover floods,earthquakes or axe of god.' Sorry about that, Mr. Finkleman.'

'I can explain the Theory of Relativity, but I can't figure out which is the best Medicare Plan.'

"I need travel insurance...starting yesterday!"

"No, but I can tell you the meaning of whole or term life insurance."

Insurance agents in Heaven.

'Damn it...I only wanted a quick coffee.'

'Hey, do you sell flood insurance?'

'All this health insurance stuff is literally making me ill! I'm just sick about it all!'

Mandatory employee health insurance will break me!

"Any accidents in the last 5 years?"

'Everything looks good, Now, we'll just bring in the company psychic to see if you have any pre-existing conditions from a previous life.'

'I couldn't afford the Bronze, Silver, or Gold health plan of the Affordable Health Care Act...'

Insurance Broker - "Mrs Dumpty,there's nothing in the policy about walls."

'You must realize that with your expected expiration date, your premiums are going to be astronomical.'

"I'm looking for something as safe as a biscuit barrel."

False Insurance Claims

'Who has the best insurance?'

"We'll keep you poor throughout your life, but at least you'll be rich after you die."

"So that's All for One and One for All, except our health insurance, which is Every Man for Himself."

Risk Management Corp

"We've won the takeover battle with Century Insurance..."

Waiter - 'You can get personal insurance with the fish.'

'Oh no! Here comes our insurance guy! He's 3 minutes early for our appointment.'

'I don't need your love. I need a 401 (k) and health insurance.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'The computer links me to other doctors, so I can see how much they're charging for tests.'

Broken pipes.

"Fortunately, you have the life savings of a man three times your age."

Actuarial Tables of the Gods

'You should have taken me up on my offer an hour ago, Now, I'm afraid, no, I cannot offer you a life insurance policy,'

'I'm sorry, but your husband's life insurance policy only covered his eighth life.'

What say we don't put a claim in on this one. He barely grazed me.

'I need to buy nine life insurance policies.'

Mortgage,insurance,and pension holding you back.