Insurance Brokers Gifts

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

'Another rejection! I'm wasting my time trying to sell life insurance to the immortal.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Sales chart is buildings in background.

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

Why markets crash.

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"I need a holiday that guarantees perfect weather, good beaches and romance!"

Obama Healthcare.

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

'I can explain the Theory of Relativity, but I can't figure out which is the best Medicare Plan.'

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'