Health Insurance Broker Gifts

'Even if he survives, he'll never be able to pay the doctors' bills!'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

"Unfortunately there's no HMO for what you have"

Writers' Compensation

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

'Rising health costs are the biggest drain on the economy, so I'll be laying off some of my patients.'

'Due to cutbacks on your insurance plan, your visits to Dr. Phil are no longer covered. You'll have to start seeing Physician's Assistant Phil.'

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

'Stop! Don't try to move him until we get his insurance information!'

Androcles, the Lion, and Sid, health insurance auditor.

'Desks equipped with airbags - for now that's our company's health plan.'

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

'The problem is that you're overmedicated. Luckily there are drugs that can help with that.'

'Everything looks good, Now, we'll just bring in the company psychic to see if you have any pre-existing conditions from a previous life.'

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

Medicare: More is Better!

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

"We can't have Single Payer - what will people do without claim denials and endless hoops to jump through?"

'Yes we can cure you - but the bigger problem now is: can you afford it?'

Warning: Eating This Food Could Result in a Decrease of Health Benefits

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

'I can't give you a raise, Milhouse, because I'm going broke supplying you with health care.'

'The computer links me to other doctors, so I can see how much they're charging for tests.'

'I don't need your love. I need a 401 (k) and health insurance.'

Warning: Birth control pills carry a history of heart attack or stroke....

Supreme court upholds Obamacare!