Health Insurance Broker Gifts

Health Insurance Brokers. Plans. No, sir, we don't give "bulk" discounts.

'Even if he survives, he'll never be able to pay the doctors' bills!'

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

'I can explain the Theory of Relativity, but I can't figure out which is the best Medicare Plan.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

"Unfortunately there's no HMO for what you have"

Writers' Compensation

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

'Rising health costs are the biggest drain on the economy, so I'll be laying off some of my patients.'

'Stop! Don't try to move him until we get his insurance information!'

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

Androcles, the Lion, and Sid, health insurance auditor.

'Due to cutbacks on your insurance plan, your visits to Dr. Phil are no longer covered. You'll have to start seeing Physician's Assistant Phil.'

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

'Desks equipped with airbags - for now that's our company's health plan.'

'The problem is that you're overmedicated. Luckily there are drugs that can help with that.'

'Everything looks good, Now, we'll just bring in the company psychic to see if you have any pre-existing conditions from a previous life.'

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

Medicare: More is Better!

'Yes we can cure you - but the bigger problem now is: can you afford it?'

"We can't have Single Payer - what will people do without claim denials and endless hoops to jump through?"

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

I told myself I wasn't going to cry at his funeral

"Your insurance company decided the heart surgery isn't necessary, but they said they'd approve breast augmentation."

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

Warning: Eating This Food Could Result in a Decrease of Health Benefits

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

'I can't give you a raise, Milhouse, because I'm going broke supplying you with health care.'

'I don't need your love. I need a 401 (k) and health insurance.'

'The computer links me to other doctors, so I can see how much they're charging for tests.'