Instant Wine Critic Gifts

'Sorry, it's just not the same. I liked to hear the cork popping and the gurgle of pouring wine.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

In the Guru District

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

Don Quixote

F&E Diner. Beer. Wine. This wine paralyzes the taste buds --- It goes with anything!

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

"Great coffee, Carole."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

Pick me! 2002 was a very good year! No! Me! I'm excellent with beef and fish. Desperate House Wines.

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"And then, suddenly, it was 3 P.M., and she hadn't really got anything done."

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

"Quick swig first?"

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

Wine tasting

Red Wine

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

I never heard of chunky style wine. I couldn't find any seedless grapes.

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"My word, this really is impressive! Lots of people have a personal trainer but a personal wine advisor, wow!"

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'Could I just get one that's wine flavored?'

"At last! Something that goes well with us!"

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

"Wine is plant-based food."

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

'That's a tough question. I suppose I should be served with a dry red.'

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'