Wine Reviewer Gifts

"The full bodied merlot covers up the stench nicely."

"...And perhaps Sir would care to look at the whine list..."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

In the Guru District

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'A cheeky red?'

Sauvignon Bonk

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

Bacchus.

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

'Man...You age great!'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"I think it stopped breathing."

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."