Wine Reviewer T-Shirts

"The full bodied merlot covers up the stench nicely."

"...And perhaps Sir would care to look at the whine list..."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

In the Guru District

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'A cheeky red?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Sauvignon Bonk

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Bacchus.

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

'Man...You age great!'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"I think it stopped breathing."

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

"He gets easily abstracted."