Sassy Wine Critic T-Shirts

'At $12 a glass, I want it to spit out what it drank.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Wine Lady

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

Don Quixote

F&E Diner. Beer. Wine. This wine paralyzes the taste buds --- It goes with anything!

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

Pick me! 2002 was a very good year! No! Me! I'm excellent with beef and fish. Desperate House Wines.

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"Quick swig first?"

Wine tasting

"Would madam like to sniff the resealable cap?"

Red Wine

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

I never heard of chunky style wine. I couldn't find any seedless grapes.

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

'Could I just get one that's wine flavored?'

"Wine is plant-based food."

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'

Wine: New & Old!!!

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

'Really, Bob, the Wine Fairy?'