Casual Wine Critic T-Shirts

"Ahh, wine. Grape juice that went on to earn a graduate degree."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Wine Lady

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

Don Quixote

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

"Quick swig first?"

Red Wine

Wine tasting

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

Bluewater security man stopping baby with hood.

'Could I just get one that's wine flavored?'

"Wine is plant-based food."

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

'Really, Bob, the Wine Fairy?'

'Make it four beers and an '02 Brunello di Montalcino, if you've got it, for you-know-who.'

'And this is my dad. He's the wine critic for The Herald and he can drink your dads under the table.'

The Connoisseur.

"The fifth wine has bright apple and pear notes, with just the barest hint of a blinding headache."