Instant Noodles Fan Gifts

"Eye of toad, ear of bat and that horrible lumpy bit in the middle of a Pot Noodle."

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"What's happened to Quiche?"

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

'The service is so much better when you dress as royalty.'

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

"You spend far too much time on social media, Joe!"

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

"Fridge-to-table"

'Right you lot, listen. Hands up for soup. . .'

Nouveau wine

"I'm glad you like this new brand of coffee, Joni. The label said "fast-acting," but who knows what that means!"

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

"I just dialed 1-800-BAGUETTE."

Hole Sale

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

'Pardon me, M'sieur -- Did you order 'grilled cheese' or 'chilled grease'?'

'May I recommend the red wine?'

"Ah, Monsieur has made a very expensive choice!"

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

Cat's wine has live fish in it.

Ahh, Chicken Soup

'I caught this one while fishing off of a bridge in Venice.'