Instant Noodles Fan Pillows

"Eye of toad, ear of bat and that horrible lumpy bit in the middle of a Pot Noodle."

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

Some days, we all just feel like a little take-out lo mein.

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'The service is so much better when you dress as royalty.'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

Man with desk wrapped as a Christmas present.

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

'Right you lot, listen. Hands up for soup. . .'

"You spend far too much time on social media, Joe!"

"Fridge-to-table"

Nouveau wine

"I'm glad you like this new brand of coffee, Joni. The label said "fast-acting," but who knows what that means!"

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

"I just dialed 1-800-BAGUETTE."

'May I recommend the red wine?'

"Ah, Monsieur has made a very expensive choice!"

"Why, pray, am I not on YouTube?"

Hole Sale

'Pardon me, M'sieur -- Did you order 'grilled cheese' or 'chilled grease'?'

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

Cat's wine has live fish in it.

Ahh, Chicken Soup