Instant Gratification Fan Pillows

"I just dialed 1-800-BAGUETTE."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Working in the Hazard Zone!

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

"You spend far too much time on social media, Joe!"

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

"Oh, that's just one of those special effects for a film they're making here."

Emergency Underpants

"O.K. 'The Giant Baby from Space,' Take 1."

'Personally, I don't question these things. My snout period will simply end when it ends.'

"I worry that some people find me boring"

Development of disgusting new flaws. Loving acceptance of your flaws.

What's really in junk food...

'Now that's what I call fast food.'

Transformation of Man into Monster.

Instant Gratification service desk (with a long queue and delay)

Street violinists unknowingly plays a concert.

"You're so vein."

"They may be champagne problems, but they're my problems."

Can we get special effects to digitally enhance our bottom line?

'Well, you appear to be free of infection, but your colonoscopy video has gone viral.'

"Eye of toad, ear of bat and that horrible lumpy bit in the middle of a Pot Noodle."

"No plans set in stone yet, but I'll probably spend some time getting on my wife's last nerve, maybe hyperfocus on the lawn."

"I always choose immediate gratification over vague rewards at some unspecified time in the future."

'Boy, you're really into yourself, aren't you?'

Ned hated being famous: "Hey, everybody! It's the substitute weather guy who wore a green sweater on camera and looked like he had a hole in his body!"

Vampire eating a 'Clot Noodle'.

I guess videos are getting easier to make.

Dog retrieves slippers instead of birds.