Instant Gratification Pillows

"I always choose immediate gratification over vague rewards at some unspecified time in the future."

Man pulls on cord which leads to 'Instant Gratification'.

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"I think my Harry must be practicing some sort of Tantric fishing. He'll be at it for hours and not catch a thing."

"I just dialed 1-800-BAGUETTE."

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

"Honey! Our 15 minutes of fame has been reduced to an unflattering gif on Twitter!"

Instant Gratification service desk (with a long queue and delay)

Returning to reading

"By the time I've read all the nutrition and ingredients information I've lost my appetite!"

"Maybe you've seen my work. I've been on YouTube. I'm the drunk guy who lights his own farts."

'I'm a huge fan of yours, I've downloaded all your songs from the internet!'

Your Sculpture while you wait.

"I've heard of instant Karma, but I didn't know there was a microwavable version."

When Mrs Murray said you should vary your diet I don't think she meant to just try all 16 flavours of POT NOODLES.

'We're here to talk to your son about his web site...'

"Welcome to the Department of Delayed Gratification. Take a number."

Seeds. Instant coffee plantation.

"Okay, so what do we add?"

Who needs a TV? We connect the cable directly to your brain!

Remember, son, we're men. We walk in. We buy. We walk out. No browsing. Sweaters. (Originally published on 2008-01-14).

"Really, I'm still a beginner, but Master insists on putting clips of my piano practice on the internet: How embarrassing..."

'I'm afraid you've gone viral.'

"We texted you for cookies about 10 minutes ago. We don't like to be kept waiting Amber."

'Is the seven year flowering cactus in bud yet?'

'These home brew kits are great... I reckon they'd taste even better if I were to give them a chance to ferment!'

"That guy isn't really famous...just Google famous."

"Baldo, can you go to the store with me?"

"Yes, I saw your video. And I didn't find it amusing."

Convenience food: '...these days you can get your vegetables this way.'

'...And Harriet Brownley gets the commendation 'Most Googled'.'

I don't know why people say bad things about instant gratification. Personally, I have only one complaint about it: it takes too long.