Insomniacs United Gifts

"I'm a Sheep Dog, you would think that counting sheep would help me sleep, but no..."

Dog Nightmares

"Try thinking about something else."

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

Things that go beep in the night.

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

"Before I prescribe a sleeping pill, I'd like you to try the opera."

Cats. All they do is eat and sleep. Truth is, they don't even do that well.

'Insomnia, eh? -- Drink a glass of warm milk and watch some C-Span.'

"Sleep? No, I'm the anxiety fairy. How about a cuppa joe?"

"See how much better you look after a good nights sleep."

"If you can't sleep you may as well be productive and guard the meth lab."

"This book put me to sleep—It was wonderful."

A girl wakes up to see her dollhouse is haunted.

"Damn! I STILL can't sleep!"

"Perhaps you slept SLOWER than usual..."

"We'd like you to invest in alternative energy. It's called sleep."

Gracie can't sleep by counting sheep so she sleeps by counting A+ grades.

When animal cloners suffer from insomnia.

"This is a wonderful CV Mrs. Wilson!"

"He's chasing his dreams."

'Never, Ever...try to figure out the meaning of life in the middle of the night.'

"You've been daylighting, haven't you ?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"Must you page swipe so loudly?"

'One will help you sleep like a log. The other one's to keep the termites away.'

"It's 4 A.M.—maybe you'd sleep better if you bought some crap!"

Things my cat says at 3 am

Daily Promise...

I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd embroider my memoirs a bit.

'It's great that you can laugh at yourself, but can you not do it in the middle of the night?'