Insomniac Club Gifts

"Try thinking about something else."

"Decaf... I distincly ordered DECAF..."

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

Wide-awake.

"Before I prescribe a sleeping pill, I'd like you to try the opera."

Thoughts of Stephen Harper...

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep."

"Sleep? No, I'm the anxiety fairy. How about a cuppa joe?"

"If you can't sleep you may as well be productive and guard the meth lab."

When animal cloners suffer from insomnia.

"This book put me to sleep—It was wonderful."

"Damn! I STILL can't sleep!"

'I hate to admit it, but I counted sheep all night.'

"See how much better you look after a good nights sleep."

'Oh man, really shouldn't have had that coffee in June,'

'Never, Ever...try to figure out the meaning of life in the middle of the night.'

"He's chasing his dreams."

"You've been daylighting, haven't you ?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"Must you page swipe so loudly?"

I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd embroider my memoirs a bit.

Daily Promise...

'One will help you sleep like a log. The other one's to keep the termites away.'

'It's great that you can laugh at yourself, but can you not do it in the middle of the night?'

'The new baby? Oh he's great! I haven't slept in 4 days, but the baby is great!'

'Next time try decaf.'

"Is the light bothering you dear?"

'How's your insomnia?' - 'Terrible, I can't even sleep when it's time to get up.'

'She sleeps the whole time! ... Very amusing!'

Person thinking about Trump whilst he's trying to count sheep.