Insomnia Club Gifts

"What do you do when you can't sleep?"

"If you can't sleep you may as well be productive and guard the meth lab."

Counting ribs

Dog Nightmares

"Try thinking about something else."

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.

The Forever Stamp

'Sleep on your face again, Phil?'

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

'Sure I sleep all day. She snores all night.'

'zzz sleep.'

Center For Sleep Deprivation

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

'The nurses tell me that you're having trouble sleeping, so I thought I'd try a sermon just to help.'

"Before I prescribe a sleeping pill, I'd like you to try the opera."

"Goodnight cerebellum, goodnight hippocampus, goodnight little neurons that jump to synapses, goodnight medulla, prefrontal cortex, with the pills that I take it won't be complex."

'I can't sleep... Tell me about your day at the office again.'

Cats. All they do is eat and sleep. Truth is, they don't even do that well.

"Hello dear- couldn't you sleep either?"

"They were known as the tribe that didn't sleep."

'Insomnia, eh? -- Drink a glass of warm milk and watch some C-Span.'

Overnight Programming

Vegan Insomnia

"Sleep? No, I'm the anxiety fairy. How about a cuppa joe?"

When animal cloners suffer from insomnia.

"Damn! I STILL can't sleep!"

Sleeping artist has been painting picture of sheep.

Cactus Alarm.

"Perhaps you slept SLOWER than usual..."

"We'd like you to invest in alternative energy. It's called sleep."

"You up? You also couldn't sleep.."

"I had to switch to tea, coffee was keeping me up all day."

'Give me one of your lectures, Dad - I can't sleep!'

'I dreamt I was tweeting about my insomnia all night.'