Insomnia Epicure Gifts

Counting ribs

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

That midnight hour when fleeting memories come home to roost.

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"Where's the ball? Where's the ball?"

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

The Forever Stamp

"Call him Koffee- he keeps us awake!"

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"My life must really be boring. I asked the guy why he hacked into my social media and he replied that reading it helps him get to sleep a night."

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

'Sure I sleep all day. She snores all night.'

"Don't hold back on the toad legs now - I'm through with Nouvelle Cuisine!"

'zzz sleep.'

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

"It's the Chef Surprise."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'The nurses tell me that you're having trouble sleeping, so I thought I'd try a sermon just to help.'

"Wake up."

Wide-awake.

"Goodnight cerebellum, goodnight hippocampus, goodnight little neurons that jump to synapses, goodnight medulla, prefrontal cortex, with the pills that I take it won't be complex."

Cats. All they do is eat and sleep. Truth is, they don't even do that well.

"They were known as the tribe that didn't sleep."

"My nose whistling is keeping me awake all night."

"Sleep? No, I'm the anxiety fairy. How about a cuppa joe?"

Insomniacs Anonymous - No Snoring

Cactus Alarm.

'Insomniacs Anonymous. Next meeting 3am,Tues.'

"I had to switch to tea, coffee was keeping me up all day."

Wheel of Sleep Misfortune

Sleeping artist has been painting picture of sheep.

"If you can't sleep you may as well be productive and guard the meth lab."