Insomnia Specialist Gifts

'Have you tried listening to one of your taped sermons?'

Drum School, Sleep Clinic, Fire Alarm - Testing Lab.

Dog Nightmares

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

That midnight hour when fleeting memories come home to roost.

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"Where's the ball? Where's the ball?"

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.

The Forever Stamp

"Call him Koffee- he keeps us awake!"

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

'If you can't sleep...imagine you're at work.'

"No doctor, my husband is not sleep-walking again. He is sleep-jumping!"

Center For Sleep Deprivation

'zzz sleep.'

Doctor with Teddy - "Take this. It will help you sleep."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

The afternoons are okay, it's at night that I can't sleep.

"I'm sleeping in today. I got in late from last night's orgy."

"I slept funny!"

Wide-awake.

Cats. All they do is eat and sleep. Truth is, they don't even do that well.

"Hello dear- couldn't you sleep either?"

"Wake up, Jane! There's a giant talking squirrel at the end of your bed!"

"They were known as the tribe that didn't sleep."

'These hibernation pills ought to do the trick.'

Sleep Clinic. ZZZZZZ. We can tell a lot about somebody's sleep by the sounds they make. This subject is experiencing normal, restful sleep. YYYYYY. He's having fitful sleep because his girlfriend dumped him. MMMMMM. It looks a lot like he's having a dream about a delicious meal. BBBBBB. This gardener is having a nightmare about disturbing a hive. And what's happening here? I think he's look forward to "talk like a pirate day"! RRRRRR.

"My nose whistling is keeping me awake all night."

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

Vegan Insomnia

"Sleep? No, I'm the anxiety fairy. How about a cuppa joe?"

'I'm being tested for sleep apnoea this winter: Better go, see you in spring...'