Sleep Expert Gifts

Bed & Bedbugs.

'I don't think Rodrigo will be very happy when you tell him his 'Zzzz's' are well above the legal safety decibal levels!'

'Six months ought to be enough sleep for anyone.'

"Will you PLEEEEASE stop grinding your teeth!"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

Broken Alarm Clock.

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

"You were snoring."

"What's with your hair?"

Let's not do anything we'll regret in the morning. I like to sleep past noon.

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

Oh, come on this insomnia is driving me nuts! Just shoot me with a tranquilizer dart, wouldja!

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'

The next step in executive efficiency - Microsoft PowerNap.

'If you can't sleep...imagine you're at work.'

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

"I don't care if we did hibernate all Winter, I'm still tired."

Fish sleeps while counting worms that jump over a fence.

In the great green room there was a pot of coffee and a red-eyed dad, too. Good Morning Moon.

'She let the bedbugs bite.'