Sleep Therapist Gifts

Drum School/Sleep Clinic/Fire Alarm Testing Lab

Doctor holding cymbals above sleeping patient in treatment for a sleep disorders.

"There's only one cure for insomnia...you need to get more sleep."

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"He's a very sound sleeper. When he sleeps he makes all kinds of sounds!"

'Yes, she always falls asleep when she does the daily attendance count.'

'If you can't sleep...imagine you're at work.'

"It's no use, Ed, I just can't sleep. I miss my wife's . . . snoring!"

A venn diagram of sleep and productivity

"We start your sleep apnea training tonight. Are you familiar with Pavlov's dog?"

"Wake up, Jane! There's a giant talking squirrel at the end of your bed!"

Drum School, Sleep Clinic, Fire Alarm - Testing Lab.

"I'm a Sheep Dog, you would think that counting sheep would help me sleep, but no..."

'You were talking in your sleep again.'

'Sleep on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off.'

'zzz sleep.'

Sleep techniques for Shepherds and Sheep.

Man trying to get to sleep by counting cloned sheep.

'Have sex. . . No, but at least you'll enjoy being awake.'

Brainless Sleep

Sleep Therapy Center. Hey, guess what! I have rapid eye movement!

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"Try thinking about something else."

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'