Sleep Technician Gifts

"I set up the sensors. He sees you when you're sleeping."

'A cure for insomnia is a good night's sleep.'

"He's dreaming he's on a roller coaster."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

Broken Alarm Clock.

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

"What's with your hair?"

Oh, come on this insomnia is driving me nuts! Just shoot me with a tranquilizer dart, wouldja!

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

"You were snoring."

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

Let's not do anything we'll regret in the morning. I like to sleep past noon.

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'

The next step in executive efficiency - Microsoft PowerNap.

'If you can't sleep...imagine you're at work.'

Center For Sleep Deprivation

In the great green room there was a pot of coffee and a red-eyed dad, too. Good Morning Moon.

Fish sleeps while counting worms that jump over a fence.

"I don't care if we did hibernate all Winter, I'm still tired."

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

"No doctor, my husband is not sleep-walking again. He is sleep-jumping!"