Sleep Advocate Gifts

Office worker sleeping at desk behind sign Be Back in 5 Minutes

'I wish someone would steal that car...!'

Grants & Recipients

The Slumber Party.

'It was bad enough that Cheryl fell asleep at the office.

'I finally got Benson to get to the job on time. My next chore is to keep him awake on the job.'

"The boss says we should concentrate on our core competencies. So I'll soon be earning my money by shopping online, drinking coffee, and sleeping in the office!"

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

Let's not do anything we'll regret in the morning. I like to sleep past noon.

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

Oh, come on this insomnia is driving me nuts! Just shoot me with a tranquilizer dart, wouldja!

"You were snoring."

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

'How can I get mad at him for sleeping on the job? It was I who told him that taking naps was healthy.'

"What's with your hair?"

'It's the worst possible diagnosis a bear can receive -- sleep apnea.'

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'

The next step in executive efficiency - Microsoft PowerNap.

"Well, NOW I can't sleep worrying about how much we spent on this high-tech mattress!"

"I don't care if we did hibernate all Winter, I'm still tired."