Sleep Safety Advocate Gifts

Sleep walking can be hazardous!

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

"What's with your hair?"

Let's not do anything we'll regret in the morning. I like to sleep past noon.

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

Oh, come on this insomnia is driving me nuts! Just shoot me with a tranquilizer dart, wouldja!

"You were snoring."

'It's the worst possible diagnosis a bear can receive -- sleep apnea.'

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'

The next step in executive efficiency - Microsoft PowerNap.

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

"Well, NOW I can't sleep worrying about how much we spent on this high-tech mattress!"

In the great green room there was a pot of coffee and a red-eyed dad, too. Good Morning Moon.

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part Five

Fish sleeps while counting worms that jump over a fence.

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

"I don't care if we did hibernate all Winter, I'm still tired."

"Alexa give me one reason to get out of bed today."

'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'