Sleep Deprivation Expert Gifts

'I'm so tired: We have a newborn you see, and I was up half the day trying to get him to sleep...'

Cry babies.

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"I'm so good at this!"

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

'It's the worst possible diagnosis a bear can receive -- sleep apnea.'

Center For Sleep Deprivation

"No doctor, my husband is not sleep-walking again. He is sleep-jumping!"

Doctor with Teddy - "Take this. It will help you sleep."

Grants & Recipients

Mattress makers picketing in front of factory are sleepwalking.

"I slept funny!"

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

'These hibernation pills ought to do the trick.'

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."

I suppose you'd like to know why I summoned you here at 3am, minion. Not really. My studies show there's a 0.0067% uptick in coffee sales when you appear sleepier than the patrons. Come again? My theory is that's because seeing you falling asleep on your feet subconsciously makes customers feel like they need more caffeine ... From now on, you're only to sleep three non-consecutive hours per day. Very bad mazzzzz ...

Sleep Clinic. ZZZZZZ. We can tell a lot about somebody's sleep by the sounds they make. This subject is experiencing normal, restful sleep. YYYYYY. He's having fitful sleep because his girlfriend dumped him. MMMMMM. It looks a lot like he's having a dream about a delicious meal. BBBBBB. This gardener is having a nightmare about disturbing a hive. And what's happening here? I think he's look forward to "talk like a pirate day"! RRRRRR.

'I'm being tested for sleep apnoea this winter: Better go, see you in spring...'

'How can you sleep at night?'

'A cure for insomnia is a good night's sleep.'

Sleep Disorder Research.

'I think I'm having an out-of-body experience.'

The Slumber Party.

'We're making progress on my insomnia. My foot went to sleep last night.'

Narcolepsy in relationships.

Insomniacs Anonymous - No Snoring

'Sounds to me like you're not getting enough REM sleep.'

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

'I think you went trampling in your sleep again.'

This thing on my neck is keeping me awake at night.

Number of times your kids will wake in the night/Amount you have to do tomorrow

'What did you say? You suggested me to COUNT sheep to fall asleep? I thought you told me to EAT sheep...'

'Six months ought to be enough sleep for anyone.'

'It was bad enough that Cheryl fell asleep at the office.