Sleep Deprivation Expert Gifts

'I'm so tired: We have a newborn you see, and I was up half the day trying to get him to sleep...'

Cry babies.

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"I'm so good at this!"

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

'It's the worst possible diagnosis a bear can receive -- sleep apnea.'

Center For Sleep Deprivation

"No doctor, my husband is not sleep-walking again. He is sleep-jumping!"

Mattress makers picketing in front of factory are sleepwalking.

"I slept funny!"

Grants & Recipients

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."

'These hibernation pills ought to do the trick.'

'I'm being tested for sleep apnoea this winter: Better go, see you in spring...'

'How can you sleep at night?'

Sleep Disorder Research.

'A cure for insomnia is a good night's sleep.'

'I finally got Benson to get to the job on time. My next chore is to keep him awake on the job.'

'Six months ought to be enough sleep for anyone.'

'We're making progress on my insomnia. My foot went to sleep last night.'

The Slumber Party.

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

Insomniacs Anonymous - No Snoring

Narcolepsy in relationships.

'Sounds to me like you're not getting enough REM sleep.'

'I think you went trampling in your sleep again.'

Number of times your kids will wake in the night/Amount you have to do tomorrow

This thing on my neck is keeping me awake at night.

"I won't be in the office today, my apathy is acting up again."