Sleep Deprivation Master Gifts

"I'm so good at this!"

Cry babies.

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

Center For Sleep Deprivation

"No doctor, my husband is not sleep-walking again. He is sleep-jumping!"

Man has a dream about a clumsy sheep.

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

"I slept funny!"

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

'These hibernation pills ought to do the trick.'

'How can you sleep at night?'

'A cure for insomnia is a good night's sleep.'

Sleep Disorder Research.

'The teddy bear and blankie are the only sleep aids the doctor had that aren't addictive.'

Narcolepsy in relationships.

This thing on my neck is keeping me awake at night.

"I won't be in the office today, my apathy is acting up again."

'What did you say? You suggested me to COUNT sheep to fall asleep? I thought you told me to EAT sheep...'

'We're making progress on my insomnia. My foot went to sleep last night.'

Insomniacs Anonymous - No Snoring

'Sounds to me like you're not getting enough REM sleep.'

Number of times your kids will wake in the night/Amount you have to do tomorrow

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

'I think you went trampling in your sleep again.'

'Six months ought to be enough sleep for anyone.'

Dogs viewing human in sleep lab, 'It looks like he's chasing something.'

Circadian rhythms adjusted.

"I stay awake all night worrying about my insomnia, doctor!"