Epicurean Escapist Gifts

"We are starting our diet tomorrow, so we need to eat this lot today."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

Holiday Supplies

"It was a really romantic dinner. I cried when he gave me roses. We had lobster and wine. He cried when we got the bill."

Fish talking in a bar - one has a heap of hooks hanging out of his head 'And you must be the one who got away?'

"Honey, quick – the demi-glace is about to simmer – pass me a shot of Don Julio 1942 tequila!"

Michel Roux Jr

Man trapped in bubble from bubble bath.

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"I see you've finished your meal, sir. Can I get you anything else?... Coffee? Brandy? A doctor?"

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

'If I have but one life to live, Pierre, it's going to be a gastric life.'

"Not now, Elaine—I'm on my man-cloud."

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

'On your way back from the Holy Land, can you stop at Paris and pick up some creme brulee?'

"Meet my cats - Step Over Me, Dust Around Me, and Sit Somewhere Else."

Survival of the Foodiest

Nick's Greek Restaurant: Special - Nick's own translation of the Odyssey

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

Message in a bottle.

"Bob, no! You don't drown in white wine with steak!"

'The bill is part of the chef's surprise, sir.'

'Good thing the recipe doesn't call for two tablespoons of port, we'd need a second cart.'

"I think my life would have been played better set against a Roaring Twenties or Civil War background."

'A lovely area, but not enough waiters!'