Sleep Strugglers Club Gifts

"How many times have I told you not to watch the news before bed?"

"Try thinking about something else."

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

Contented man and cat sleeping

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

"Time for bed, guys."

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

'Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!'

'Sleep on your face again, Phil?'

There's a VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION. I snore like an alarm clock and my wife mistook my nose for the snooze button.

"We can watch anything you want, as long as I don't have to keep my eyes open."

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

'What he lacks in intelligence he makes up for in stupidity.'

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'

"His fitness tracker said he needed 36 minutes more sleep!"

Dreams

Man has a dream about a clumsy sheep.

Aging Sign # 23: you're dehydrated and yet up peeing all night.

'If I could go back to anywhere, it would be to my bed.'

"Come on Mum, just two more weeks..."

Rip Van Winkle told by pharmacist that his sleeping pill prescription has expired.

What are you doing up, mom? Big meeting tomorrow. Must be prepared. It's one a.m.! Go to bed, young lady. You need your sleep. It must be late. I heard my voice coming out of your mouth. Scary!

Sleeping through new year celebrations

'Sorry dear, I have to go straight to work tomorrow.'

Cats don't like to let the people that they live with have a lie-in.

'I shan't say it again... It's time for bed!'

I suppose you'd like to know why I summoned you here at 3am, minion. Not really. My studies show there's a 0.0067% uptick in coffee sales when you appear sleepier than the patrons. Come again? My theory is that's because seeing you falling asleep on your feet subconsciously makes customers feel like they need more caffeine ... From now on, you're only to sleep three non-consecutive hours per day. Very bad mazzzzz ...

"What? I slept seven months."

"I think I'll sleep in tonight!"

"He just woke up from hibernation."

'I'm afraid you're not working out.'

"Sleep? No, I'm the anxiety fairy. How about a cuppa joe?"

'He always breaks away from the Church on Sunday mornings.'

"Naps. Do you have anything in naps?"