Sleep Survivalist Gifts

Toddler in the bed: a journey

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

Areas of the Body Where Stress Can Manifest

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

"Time for bed, guys."

Contented man and cat sleeping

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

'Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!'

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

"What's with your hair?"

Oh, come on this insomnia is driving me nuts! Just shoot me with a tranquilizer dart, wouldja!

Let's not do anything we'll regret in the morning. I like to sleep past noon.

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"You were snoring."

"Roll over. Your Zs are looking like Ns."

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'

The next step in executive efficiency - Microsoft PowerNap.

"Well, NOW I can't sleep worrying about how much we spent on this high-tech mattress!"

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

"We can watch anything you want, as long as I don't have to keep my eyes open."

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

Fish sleeps while counting worms that jump over a fence.

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.