Snore-survivalist Gifts

"Roll over. Your Zs are looking like Ns."

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

There's a VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION. I snore like an alarm clock and my wife mistook my nose for the snooze button.

'Ever notice how when Dad snores the whole house shakes?'

'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'

"Now do you believe me that your snoring wakes up the whole neighborhood?"

"Good night. Sleep quietly."

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

"You go right on snoring, doesn’t bother me one bit. Your snores are beautiful, do you know that? I love snoring…not like some people."

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

'We have separate bedrooms because I snore and because I can't stand the sight of her.'

"My nose whistling is keeping me awake all night."

'Mrs.Neal, we did everything we could: anglopasty, laser surgery, replaced a valve, put in a shunt. . . Your husband still snores like a musk ox.'

'I said he could sleep with me... well... he's asleep.'

"Dad, can you stop snoring?"

"Yes, you were snoring again."

RIP...snores are coming from the grave.

'Now she's frightened of your snoring...'

I even love the way you snore...

"Our marriage will last a whole lot longer if you move and breathe minimally."

'Fritz...Fritz..You're roaring again.'

'You're snoring in cadence.'

Zzzzzzzzz...

Man says: 'Are you implying that I have a snoring problem?'

"He's a very sound sleeper. When he sleeps he makes all kinds of sounds!"

"His snoring is just loud enough to mask my tinnitus."

"Some people give TV shows a thumbs up or a thumbs down. My dad gives shows a snoring or no-snoring."

'Actually, the tent is for my wife and the couch is for me when I start snoring.'

'There was a petition to kick me out of the colony at night because I snore...'

'How can a person meditate with that racket going on?'

Woman reading a article titled 'Dead men don't snore',

'THanks to this noise barrier I don't hear Eddie's snoring any more!'

Toddler in the bed: a journey

'My husband must be floating on his back - I can hear him snoring!'