Snoring Survivor Gifts

'You snored all night, so now I have to kill you.'

'Now she's frightened of your snoring...'

'Turn over, Zorro!'

'When I snore, I'm put in solitary. And on nights when I don't, I'm released back into the general population.'

'I'm going to hibernate in another cave. You have sleep apnea and your snoring kept me up all of last winter.'

Areas of the Body Where Stress Can Manifest

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

"You were snoring."

"Roll over. Your Zs are looking like Ns."

'Ever notice how when Dad snores the whole house shakes?'

Aging Sign # 23: you're dehydrated and yet up peeing all night.

'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'

"Good night. Sleep quietly."

"You go right on snoring, doesn’t bother me one bit. Your snores are beautiful, do you know that? I love snoring…not like some people."

'We have separate bedrooms because I snore and because I can't stand the sight of her.'

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

"Oh, I'm really sorry to hear that you're having trouble getting out of bed in the morning; you know we do have counsellors in the building if you feel you need support with that."

"Our marriage will last a whole lot longer if you move and breathe minimally."

'I said he could sleep with me... well... he's asleep.'

'You're snoring in cadence.'

RIP...snores are coming from the grave.

'Fritz...Fritz..You're roaring again.'

Zzzzzzzzz...

"Dad, can you stop snoring?"

Man says: 'Are you implying that I have a snoring problem?'

"He's a very sound sleeper. When he sleeps he makes all kinds of sounds!"

"His snoring is just loud enough to mask my tinnitus."

"Some people give TV shows a thumbs up or a thumbs down. My dad gives shows a snoring or no-snoring."

'There was a petition to kick me out of the colony at night because I snore...'

'Actually, the tent is for my wife and the couch is for me when I start snoring.'

'THanks to this noise barrier I don't hear Eddie's snoring any more!'

"There's a huge crowd of people on the lawn demanding that you stop snoring!"

'Gesundheit.'

"I kept tossing and turning all winter!"

"Here's the plan. I use white noise to cover your snoring and you use earplugs to cover the white noise."