Informational Escapist Gifts

"And this brings to a conclusion, thank goodness, our broadcast day."

Bo're'droom

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

"I'm ready for summer vacation! A good book takes you where you've never been!"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

Cyber Dream

'Man, I'm sick of thinking...can't someone flip on a T.V. or something?'

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

Hot Towel Web Service

I'd like to order a power outage. Huh? My wife's on her phone all day, my son plays video games nonstop. My boss finds me by email wherever and whenever. My pager rings 'round the clock! Say again? I was text messaging. Pull the plug, man!

"When catch-up TV finally catches up"

Some days Ted's head would get stuck for hours.

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

"Remember when we used to waste our entire lives for free?"

'I pretended to be religious to get a place at this convent.'

"Gee... A wide screen, high-definition TV with Stereo-Gasm Sound and over 500 channels! It's almost like having a life!"

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

'Well you know the old saying... if you can't beat 'em you can always google someone who can.'

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

"You know what you're running here, Lou? You're running a haven, that's what you're running here, Lou."

Meeting to determinet non-essential personnel.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).