Technology Escapist Gifts

I'd like to order a power outage. Huh? My wife's on her phone all day, my son plays video games nonstop. My boss finds me by email wherever and whenever. My pager rings 'round the clock! Say again? I was text messaging. Pull the plug, man!

"Listen! Hear that? Nothing is beeping!"

"Anywhere that doesn't have TVs, computers, radios, ipods, cell phones, or video games."

'Peace at last.'

"For your Birthday gift, I decided to stay off my phone for the entire day. You'll be proud of me, I lasted almost an entire hour!"

Hiding From Social Media

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

Rising Gas Prices

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

Cyber Dream

Cat Asleep on a Computer.

'Man, I'm sick of thinking...can't someone flip on a T.V. or something?'

Some days Ted's head would get stuck for hours.

"When catch-up TV finally catches up"

Hot Towel Web Service

SEMINAR CANCELLED: Feel free to doodle.

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

"Gee... A wide screen, high-definition TV with Stereo-Gasm Sound and over 500 channels! It's almost like having a life!"

"Remember when we used to waste our entire lives for free?"

What's with our son? For once he's not online. I dealt with him. He's steaming mad. What did you do? I handled his addiction to texting, IM-ing, games and Facebook with calm maturity. Dad! Where did you hide my laptop?!! Modern maturity.

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

'Well you know the old saying... if you can't beat 'em you can always google someone who can.'

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

"Not again!"

"Please excuse my husband his media bubble just burst."

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

"And this brings to a conclusion, thank goodness, our broadcast day."

"Goddess of Good give me strength! I must. . . get. . . off. . . the. . . internet!"