Cyber Escapist Gifts

'I'm hacking into our cell door lock.'

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

Second lifeReal life.

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

"I don't know what in blazes it means either, but just to be safe we'll put extra men on watch tonight."

Cat Asleep on a Computer.

Cyber Dream

'Man, I'm sick of thinking...can't someone flip on a T.V. or something?'

Hot Towel Web Service

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

Some days Ted's head would get stuck for hours.

I'd like to order a power outage. Huh? My wife's on her phone all day, my son plays video games nonstop. My boss finds me by email wherever and whenever. My pager rings 'round the clock! Say again? I was text messaging. Pull the plug, man!

"When catch-up TV finally catches up"

The income gap is widening into a massive divide. Instability will follow. I'm not pleading for the middle class, I'm pleading for our future. House of Java .net Cybercafe. We can't have only rich and poor, for that was goes serfdom, instability, and eventually, collapse through inevitable revolution from below. Are you following what I'm saying? Are you listening? Not just listening. I'm listening while also playing Angry Birds. I've got no chance here, do I? Me either. The higher levels are br

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

"Gee... A wide screen, high-definition TV with Stereo-Gasm Sound and over 500 channels! It's almost like having a life!"

"Remember when we used to waste our entire lives for free?"

'Well you know the old saying... if you can't beat 'em you can always google someone who can.'

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

What's with our son? For once he's not online. I dealt with him. He's steaming mad. What did you do? I handled his addiction to texting, IM-ing, games and Facebook with calm maturity. Dad! Where did you hide my laptop?!! Modern maturity.

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

"I’ve recently started self-medicating with viral pet videos."

Message in a bottle.

"Log into nature"

"Please excuse my husband his media bubble just burst."

"Do you have any video games that would help reduce my role as a father?"

"Goddess of Good give me strength! I must. . . get. . . off. . . the. . . internet!"

Family separated by the Internet

"And this brings to a conclusion, thank goodness, our broadcast day."

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

"Anywhere that doesn't have TVs, computers, radios, ipods, cell phones, or video games."